the one adventure of Johnny Backward

A boy named Johnny Backward wanted people to like him. He wanted them to pay all their attention to him, him alone, and they were supposed to abandon their self-interest and other pursuits. Everyone hated and avoided him.

One day he had an adventure. It was the only adventure of his life. He never had another one. Here's what happened. He fell down. Hurt his knee. He cursed loudly. Mom put a bar of Ivory soap in his mouth and made him chew it for forty-five minutes, without swallowing any of it. He then was allowed to brush his teeth with comet, to get the bad taste out of his mouth.

That was the only thing that every happened to Johnny Backward.

His entire life began and is still going, he's not dead yet, but nothing of any importance has ever happened to the guy. He has no anecdotes. No reveries. No scrapbook of memories. He's a non-entity moving through a series of non-events until he finally disappears from the earth he barely touches.

THE END