message from president of Iran

It's great to see scumbag dictators crumble in lust and humiliation once they arrive in America, land of the free and home of the studs.

Dan Mirvish
"message from the president of Iran" (2:35)

baby in a beer glass trees

I stumbled upon the bizarre sound genius and music technician, Chenard Walcker, in a dream the other night. I dreamt that he and a guy, seems like it was Joel Carner, made a weird video.

This video featured nothing but a baby's head viewed through a beer glass as trees pass through it. While the music, as I dimly recall it, was splendid, the visual element was a bit disconcerting. I'm not used to this kind of meaningless abstraction in art or society. See what you think...

Chenard Walcker
"Baby in a Beer Glass Trees" (1:57)

the one adventure of Johnny Backward

A boy named Johnny Backward wanted people to like him. He wanted them to pay all their attention to him, him alone, and they were supposed to abandon their self-interest and other pursuits. Everyone hated and avoided him.

One day he had an adventure. It was the only adventure of his life. He never had another one. Here's what happened. He fell down. Hurt his knee. He cursed loudly. Mom put a bar of Ivory soap in his mouth and made him chew it for forty-five minutes, without swallowing any of it. He then was allowed to brush his teeth with comet, to get the bad taste out of his mouth.

That was the only thing that every happened to Johnny Backward.

His entire life began and is still going, he's not dead yet, but nothing of any importance has ever happened to the guy. He has no anecdotes. No reveries. No scrapbook of memories. He's a non-entity moving through a series of non-events until he finally disappears from the earth he barely touches.

THE END

popular new Fire Survivor game

There is an epidemic of young hoodlums dousing themselves with volatile oils, Ben Gay, hydrogen peroxide, and diesel fuel. They set themselves on fire, artificially, and see if they can figure out how to survive. The new popular game is called Fire Survivor. Few do. Survive, I mean.

Invisible Engine
"Eulogy for Chad" (4:25)

Haco has a Pencil Organ

Haco has made a Pencil Organ. She wishes I suppose to. Entertain me. So quite naturally, I put my bowl of nutmeg roasted raisins down, and took a gander at the contraption.

Sparks started flying and zapping around when I touched a control knoblet. "Don't dare mess with that," I thought to myself,"...it has the power to kill you!"

I didn't much care for killer sound generators or murder-prone musical instruments.

"Why would it want to hurt me?" I asked Haco.

[QUOTE]

"Pencil Organ" is an instrument created from a home electronics kit.

By tracing two test leads (+/-) across a thick sheet of paper covered with pencil markings, sound is created. By controling the two electrodes (+ and -) with one's hands and a person can become a part (the resistance) of an electronic circuit.

The sound is amazingly varied, and the human body (or say, an apple) also produces sound when touched. Changing or slightly dislodging a couple of the parts (blocks) in the electronic circuit adds to the range of the instrument.

The nerves in the human body also function via electricity, and though extremely weak, magnetic fields are known to exist within the body.

[END QUOTE]

GWAGS Phone Talk Technique!

Hi. Sleialgnion here. I kicked Vaspers the Grate off this site. Now I can put videos of my favorite friends here. This one is a Mr. GWAGS (gee wags) and he knows all about girls, friendship casseroles, and telecommunication tricks. Watch!

GWAGS: "How to talk to a girl on the phone for hours without really talking"
(4:01)

Sleialgnion is trying to break in!

Vaspers the Grate aka Serious Boy told me yesterday that Sleialgnion is attempting to forcibly enter this site and smear it with malicious slimey spam comments and even spam posts!

Now, we know Vaspers had a spot of trouble with a Lonnie Leopoldi who hacked into his crummy blog and defiled it and defaced and darn near deleted the entire thing, archives and all.

We will be watching this site carefully, so if any of you varnish eaters want to help, we could use it.

His name again is Sleialngion, pronounced Slee-al-nee-on.

"al" as in "alcohol"

Sleia had a web site, of sorts, a while ago, but it seems that he disfigured it by dumping it into a bad design template from Middleasia and is now so frustrated that he wants to hurt and strike out against his quiet and peace loving neighbors in the bloogysphere.

--signed: Sleialgnion the Neon Onion